A Triumph

I've spent the past week preparing myself for the worst.  I promised myself that I would not judge myself by the number that came back today.  After the down cycle in my mood and the lack of exercise, I was sure  my metabolism had gone into hibernation and I was back to gaining weight.  I consoled myself and promised myself I would do better.  It was just a phase.

And a ton of wasted effort.  I weighed in this morning at a whopping...

220

Wow.  I spent hours telling myself how I would recover from a gain and I would not reverse all the progress I'd made.  I was really in a down place.  Maybe next time I'm feeling down I will have a little more faith in myself and the work I put in.  I don't have to be 100% to make progress.  Maybe 80% is a wholesome way to reach a far off goal like this.

In the month of June, I have lost 4 more pounds.  That brings my grand total to 20 pounds lost.  That is 1/5th of my goal!!!  That is huge!  I tried to think back to the last night I know I weighted 220.  I called my OB to find out what my starting weight was when I went in with my first pregnancy.  I was thinking that I might have finally lost all the "baby" weight.  Turns out I was 230 at my first OB appointment.  I've lots all the baby weight from both of my pregnancies.  Woohoo!

Thinking further back, it was at some point while I was on weight watchers.  That was the mark where my points dropped and I began to falter.  I also was finishing up grad school, learning how to exercise (still working on that one) and trying to figure out how to live with my husband.  I remember because at 40 pounds lost back then, people really started to notice that I was losing weight.  At Christmas that year, I got a ton of complements and was happy to find that I could wear XL shirts.

I remember thinking back then that I was the smallest my husband had ever known me.  Today I am again the smallest since I found my guy.  I'm smaller than when I graduated from undergrad.  Smaller than when I was hired...  and subsequently laid off... from my first 'real' job.

The best part is that I'm doing this without some of the negative methods I employed last time. No cigarettes.  No Diet Coke.  No artificial sweeteners at all in fact.  And I'm already exercising regularly.  Last time at 220 I started exercising.

This month will be a big month for me.  Continued success means that I'll have beaten the wall I came up against 6 years ago.  That and I might have to try to obtain my college student health services records to figure out my measurements back then.  Lots to look forward to!