Today I found My Fitspiration, a blog written by Olivia and Hannah from The Biggest Loser Season 11. Olivia lost 129 pounds; Hannah, 120. It was amazing to watch them change as the season carried on. I'd heard of The Biggest Loser before, but that was the first season I followed from beginning to end. I found it inspiring. Inspiring and terrifying.
I work a full-time sedentary job. I'm raising 2 daughters along side my husband. I've been overweight most of my life. While I understand that my weight endangers my health, I'm not willing to leave my family and career at this point to spend 22 weeks in isolation redefining my mind, body and life. I'm not always happy with where I am. But I'm not THAT unhappy either.
So I took the show for what it was, a glimpse into an immersion experience focused on changing lives. It's not something I should expect for myself. That's fine.
At the end of the show, the conquering heroes return to their lives. They go home, return to their jobs and get mired in everyday life. Just like me. Somehow they figure out how to maintain. The show is over at that point. There are no more cameras, no more being accountable to millions of at home viewers.
But somehow many of them maintain the weight loss. Olivia and Hannah have made fitness and spreading the word their new mission in life. That brings a bit of accountability into the equation for sure. Reading their blog, they are maintaining their weight loss with 90 minutes of exercise 6 days a week.
Full stop. Please wait a moment while I close my jaw and try to refocus my eyes. 90 minutes per day. 6 days per week. For maintenance. Um. I'm not sure I can do that. Let me rephrase. I'm not sure I want to do that. What if that is what it takes? What if I reach a point where nothing else is working? Will I find a place in my life for that kind of dedication to exercise?
Thankfully I'm making progress with my plan. I have quite a bit of room for adjustment before I have to face that decision. And I don't know how going through all this will change me. I know that things have to change. Every day I go to the gym, I change a little more. But where I'll end up? What I'll make a priority in my life? I don't know.
In the meantime, I do worry. And fret. And wonder. And hope. I hope that I'll succeed this time. I hope I'll find out what it takes to maintain a monumental weight loss. I hope these are fears I get to face.