Yesterday I felt like Dori. I was all over the place. No focus on the moment. And not able to deal in the past or future very well. Over the last week, I've left my PT clothes sitting on my dresser, my wallet in the girls diaper bag and my keys in the front door. I'll never claim to be the most put together person, but this is ridiculous.
And I all I could tell myself was to keep on keepin' on.
With each iteration of crazy, I get a good thing out of it. I become better at detecting, monitoring and redirecting the crazy. With the lack of focus I was experiencing yesterday afternoon, I took off an hour early from work, went home and sorted the mail. That's right. Of all the things I could do with an hour, I chose to sort mail.
I poured a nice cup of ice water. All my mail just barely fit in the wall basket in my kitchen. I carried it to the family room and spread all the mail out on my sofa. I popped Season 6 Smashed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer into the DVD player (my TV obsession of choice). Pulling the recycle bins and shred bin over ensured that I did not have to get up for any reason. And for the next 40 minutes I sorted mail in the quiet of my own home. With no interruptions.
It was awesome. When the mail was finished I had a few extra minutes on the episode so I sat and massaged my feet with a tennis ball. Ahhh. That was even better than getting through the mail!
And I got my zen back. I'm by no means caught up but for the rest of the evening I wasn't a spaz-cadet. I took my girls to Chick-fil-A for dinner and let them burn off 45 minutes of energy in the play place. We did the whole bedtime ritual peacefully. I got the laundry sorted and a load put in the washer. I cleaned the mountain of greens our CSA provided this week. I savored one chocolate chip cookie. I watched one more episode of Buffy (Season 6 Wreaked) while doing a few PT exercises to warmup. I stretched out my very sore legs and rolled my IT band. I went to bed content.
I feel productive again. Or maybe my limited control over my schedule has been reattained. Whatever gives me this peaceful productive I-can-do-anything feeling is back. And it is welcome to stay as long as it likes.