Tuesday, April 24, 2012

New Goal.

Today I was stuck in an elevator.  It wasn't stuck for a long time, only about 10 minutes.  I was even lucky enough to get stuck on an elevator on the ground floor.  There are a lot of things that I have to be thankful for in that scenario.  And I'm writing about it now outside of the elevator - there one more to add to the list!

Being in relatively spacious metal box for any length of time made me realize a few things.

1. I experience anxiety.  The last time I felt it so acutely was in the weeks before my planned Cesarian to deliver my first baby.  I didn't faint or have heart palpitations.  My face went numb.  Most noticeably my lips and nose start to tingle as if they've fallen asleep.  It is a disconcerting sensation and I work to avoid experiencing it.  After about 3 minutes in the elevator, I noticed the tingle.  I focused on my breathing.  I ran through the positives of my situation including being on the ground floor.  I began looking for a way out.

2. I don't read when I'm anxious.  I look for clues but I don't actively read and absorb anything.  Thankfully I have generally good instincts and common sense; jumping up and down in an elevator clawing at the smooth solid shiny metal door is not going to get me out any faster.  It was tempting however.  But, this being a blog focused mostly on weight loss, I take note of this realization to consider a bit more thoroughly next time I decide between tortilla chips and a banana.

3. Anxiety is motivating.  My heart rate was increasing.  My lips and nose were alerting me to the fact that I was not happy with my present situation.  I started to search for a way to change it.  There was a red phone in the elevator with me.  It had a dial tone.  There were people outside the elevator.  They could hear me when I called out.  I didn't actually remember that I had a cell phone in my pocket, but I think I'd have gotten there eventually.  My plan of action began to form when the elevator started to move.

4. I don't have to take the elevator.  Upon obtaining my freedom, I really really don't want to get back on that elevator.  In fact, hours later, my face still goes numb when I think about being stuck int he elevator again.  My building only has 4 floors.  There is NO reason that I have to take the elevator.  In this quest to reshape myself as a healthier happier person, I have the choice to stop taking the elevator.

And stop elevating I will.

Welcome to my newest goal.  My goal is to be able to climb 3 consecutive flights of stairs without being winded at the top.  I've already climbed 3 consecutive flights once today and I had to stop a couple times to catch my breath.  I wasn't honestly sure that I could do it, but I did and I survived.  Now I'm motivated to continue and hopefully just the act of climbing the stairs will help me achieve my goal of not being winded.  I'll keep you updated!

1 comment: