I am 3 days from my 5K. One of the women at work will be running it ahead of me (because I'm not running it) and told me no matter what to enjoy the experience. "You will never have a first 5K again."
While the statement was meant to be supportive and encouraging, it
really brought up a lot of apprehension for me. I am walking into my
first 5K under doctor's orders not to run. While I set my goal at
finishing a 5K and not dying, there is a competitive part of me that
wants to do well in completing this goal. Somewhere in my mind, I am an
Olympic class athlete and I'll show up unknown to the 5K only to blow
away the competition and take first place.
Not going to happen.
I know this. It's not news, but it is a little hard to swallow. My
goal is to FINISH A 5K. I will do that. I just need to not beat myself
up for quite possibly finishing it in last place. That's the hard pill
to swallow. By not running, jogging or otherwise speeding to the
finish, I may be the person to finish LAST. Everyone will be there
standing at the end waiting for the slow poke to finally get across the
line. My husband. My daughters. The other 499 registered runners.
Wow. Check out my negative thinking.
My hope going into this is that there are a couple of others who will
be walking. That way I will have company at the back of the pack.
Additionally, my coworker has said that she is going to comeback and
find me after she finishes and finish the race with me (she runs
marathons, so this is completely within her range of ability). That is
very kind of her and not an offer I will refuse at this point.
I must remind myself that 3 months ago when I decided to do this, I couldn't walk a 5K. I knew I couldn't do it. My progress is fantastic. My outlook is improving. My pride just needs a little adjustment right now.