PT: Day 32: Graduation

Wow.

The words are having a little trouble coming out this morning.  I guess I can start with a comparison.

I didn't record the exercises I did in my first PT session.  I was too busy being down out about it.  But by appointment number 2 I started writing things down.  My first recorded PT workout:

Warmup Hip Stretches
Side Steps
Bosu Squats [I was doing these wrong the whole time - still haven't worked up to doing them right]
Wall Ball Abduction
Leg Extension
Balance Board
Cage Stretch
Side Lying Abduction on Ball

Yesterday's Workout:

6 min Elliptical - level 4 - 0.25 mi
Monster Walk with Red Band
Backwards Monster Walk with Red Band
Walking Lunges - 8 reps each side
Plank - 3 reps 20 sec each
Side Plank - 2 reps 20 sec each
Reverse Curl with Stick - 18 reps
Bosu Superman - 7 reps each side (this is technically called a Reverse Lunge)
Leg Extensions with Band - 20 reps each side
Side Lunges with 10 pound weight - 10 reps each side
Squats with 10 Pound weight - 15 reps
Bridges with Kickout - 6 reps
Glut Press - 15 reps each side

Okay.  I can't deny the progress I see there.  And I know I'm doing all these things with decent form.  Wow.  Faced with that comparison, I feel pretty proud of all I've accomplished.  I can say that it sucked more than words to have the scar tissue in my hips broken up and there were more than a few tears of frustration over the state my body is in....  But Wow.

At the end of my session, my therapist sat with me and we talked about the next step in a lot of these exercises.  Combining the Walking Lunge with a Reverse Lunge.  Strengthening my shoulders so I can lengthen my Side Plank times.  Using a Kettle ball (bell?) with my squats.  Finally getting my feet under the stick in a Reverse Curl.  That one I've promised to send her a picture of when it finally happens.

The biggest message she had for me was that I'm not done.  I'm never going to be done with all this.  My gluts are by no means strong; they just don't require physical therapy anymore.  I'm still compensating for weak gluts by using my piriformis; that's going to require a lot of squats and lunges and glut presses to remedy.  My lower abs...  there were no real words here beyond "reverse curl" and "c-section".  It's all going to take time.  Lots of time and lots of work.  But there is no reason I can't do this on my own anymore.

Disconnect

Surrounded by friends, I heard myself laughing.  I'm not sad all the time.  Or maybe it is more accurate to say not all of me is sad.  There are parts which are still kicking butt and have a grand time.  Even when I feel overwhelmingly sad, not all of me is sad.  Maybe that is what resides in the empty place.  When I don't fill it in, the sadness has a little more space to take up.  It's just a little more noticeable.

That's better than being just sad.  I can deal with that.  I can get back on track and make progress despite this ache that doesn't want to go away.  There's no disrespect implied by setting the sadness to the side for a little while and feeling something else.  It gets incorporated and can stay right where it is in its rightful place alongside all my other emotions.  Why does this one of all of them seem to reprehensible to me?  It's just a feeling.

Today I have PT.  It's my last PT appointment.  Hopefully ever.  I can't say I feel as though I'm finishing strong, but I do feel like I'm done.  Today's appointment will hopefully reaffirm that.  the only very mild regret I have is not getting my abs strong enough to get my feet under the stick in the reverse curl.  That will be a goal in the coming months.  My therapist swears that it is possible and multiple people have demonstrated it.  I just can't quite seem to get there yet.  I will get there.

Next week the kids are back to day care and my life settles back into its usual pattern.  My foot has been feeling pretty good all week, not perfect, but much better.  These are the final excuses I'm using to not go to the gym.  It's time to kick them to the curb.  Plus I have an appointment with the personal trainer on July 11th.  I need to be ready for that.  Next week I'll be back in the gym 3 times per week.  I know it is under my 4 times per week goal, but after a month off I think it is a good goal.

Could this be me getting back on track?  I certainly hope so.

PT: Day 31

Wednesday afternoon's PT session included:

6 min Elliptical - level 4
Reverse Curl with Stick - 15 reps
Monster Walk with Red Band
Backwards Monster Walk with Red Band
Bosu Superman (Swiss Ball removed) - 10 reps each side
Leg Extensions with Band (similar to Bird Dogs, but I wasn't strong enough to stretch out my arms with the band involved) - 20 reps each side
Side Lunges - 10 reps each side
Squats with 10 Pound weight - 10 reps
Lunges - 6 reps each side (new and WOWWOWWOW - Ow.)
Plank - 3 reps 20 sec each
Side Plank - 2 reps 20 sec each
Bridges with Kickout - 5 reps
Adductors - 5 reps with 5 sec hold (new exercise to strengthen my left leg specifically)

Yesterday was my last re-evaluation.  My left side still needs a bit of work, but I've learned what I need to know.  I'm being released from physical therapy next week.  One more appointment and I'm officially on my own.  It's a little lot scary to know that I have to make this happen for myself now.

When I first started PT, I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without pain.  Today I still have occasional pain but I understand it and readjust.  Five months ago, I could not order my glut to move my leg.  Today I can properly exercise that muscle group to exhaustion.  The first time we tested my abdominal strength I held a crunch for 12 seconds.  In this most recent evaluation, she stopped the timer at 45 seconds when I hadn't dropped.

My biggest fear is that I'll end up back where I started.  The pain will return.  The weight will come back.  My muscles will stop working.  I'll give up, a lost cause.  I can argue with those fears until I'm blue in the face.  It makes no difference.  Logically, I know I can't end up in the same place.  That doesn't stop me from being scared of returning to that place.  It would be my ultimate nightmare.  Reliving the same struggle over and over with no one but myself to blame.

What I'm doing here - analyzing my diet, documenting my workouts - is my fear anecdote.  I'm capturing the process I'm using to get from that scary painful unhealthy place to where ever I'm headed.  Should I find that I'm back sliding I have tools to dig myself out again.

However, the quickest way to keep the fear at bay?  Don't backslide.  I'm working on that one right now.

PT: Day 30: The Proof

Monday's PT included:

6 min Elliptical - Level 4
Reverse Curl with Stick - 15 reps
Side Steps with Band
Monster Walk with Band
Backwards Monster Walk
Bird Dogs with Crunch and Resistance Band - 10 reps each side
Planks - 2 reps for 30sec
Side Planks - 2 reps each side for 20 sec
Squats - 10 reps
Side Squats- 10 reps each side
The Superman on Bosu - 10 reps each side
Cage Stretch
Bridges with Kickout - 5 reps


After almost 3 weeks without PT, I was still on track.  Honestly I was very concerned that I would regress quickly.  But my form was solid.  With my foot hurting squats had to be limited.  That was the only thing that stressed my foot.  I can definitely do a lot more than I thought I could.

Speaking of my foot, my appointment is still scheduled for next Monday.  While it is on the mend, I don't like that it has taken over a week to get there.  I look forward to having the doctor look at it and let me know if that there is nothing wrong.  Or tell me what is wrong if there is something wrong.  I've done some googling and that pretty much leads me to believe that I should never google medical symptoms.  How many times do I need to learn that lesson?  :P

On Thursday I did a little swimsuit shopping.  It didn't go badly but I wasn't thrilled with the options either.  I'm going to keep looking.  There are a lot of dress swimsuits these days which I don't remember the last time I shopped for a swimsuit ten years ago.  Also the support options are a lot friendlier if you get what I mean.  Has anyone swam in one of those dress-like swim suits?  Do they get heavy in water?

Workout 020604: Fighting Discouragement

Yesterday my physical therapist advised me to not come in and take it easy.  After no workout in the morning and no PT I determined that I needed to do something at home.  Here's what I did:

5 min Bike
15 Hip Abductors each side
15 Crunches on a Swiss Ball
10 Bicep Curls*
10 Front Raise*
10 Side Raise*
10 Shoulder Press*
15 Swiss Ball Bridges
15 Reverse Curls
Repeat all above one more time
Stretch

*All the arm exercises were done while sitting on a Swiss Ball with a 5 lb weight in each hand.

I'll start by saying I'm exceedingly happy that I did my exercises despite it being 8pm and my heel hurting me.  Given that, I will also say that nothing felt quite right.  My exercise ball didn't have enough air in it.  My coccyx started to hurt.  My foot was not better (but no worse, thankfully) from the exercising.  And I couldn't find my stick to roll out my legs.

This is why I go to the gym.

That said, I'm not sure how much I can do at the gym right now.  This morning I stopped by to drop off the gift certificate for my training sessions, but I didn't work out.  It occurred to me half way through the morning that I can swim at the gym even if my foot is hurting.  That's what I'll do tomorrow.  I'm happy to have a plan of attack to keep moving through this foot thing.  It's only been hurting me for 2 full days, but it making me very nervous.  I've made so much progress and I'm very worried about derailing it now.

I told myself I would wait until Wednesday to make an appointment for my foot, but I think I'm going to get the appointment scheduled today.  Am I being a big baby about this foot?  I'm not sure.  But I'm so tired of being in pain.  I love that I was achieving entire days pain free.  Now that I know that is possible I find this pain to be intolerable.  I also worry that I'll just get used to it like I did with the hip and knee stuff.  Then years go by and I end up a ball of disjointed mess again.  Bleck.

So that's enough wallowing for today.  Call doctor to make appointment for foot.  Swim at gym tomorrow.  The plan of action has been determined.  Moving on!

Workout 120528: Tears of Joy

Today I repeated the trainer workout from last week.  It felt good.  Very few twinges, though I did have to take it slow on the stairs when I was going between the circuit and cardio rooms.  I think I most liked that I worked up a sweat while going through a wide range of motions.  I wasn't just one the elliptical for 30 minutes straight.  Not that I won't still be doing that.  I just think it would be mind-numbing to do it every day.

I don't have PT this week so I'm headed to the gym everyday.  Tomorrow will be a long cardio workout. I meet with the trainer on Wednesday to try out another strength routine.  This one will be more inline with what I've been doing at PT most likely.  I asked for that as I'm not having PT this week.

But none of that was what moved me to tears.

At the end of my workout, I laid down to stretch my legs.  Glut Stretch.  IT Band Stretch.  This Figure Four Stretch the trainer showed me.  It stretches the same muscles (or close to the same muscles) that seem to be aggravating my coccyx.

Then it occurred to me to me to try a back massage.  Or tummy massage.  It is something we did in Yoga.  You pull your knees into your chest and then circle them around.  Being that you are on your back it massages the back and the stomach.  It is supposed to feel great, but I'd log written it off because of the scar tissue in my hips.  Everything was just too sore.  It hurt too much.

This morning it didn't.

PT: Day 29: What I Can Accomplish

Monday's PT:

6 min Elliptical - Level 4
Side Steps with Band
Monster Walk with Band
Backwards Monster Walk
Squats - 20 reps
Side Lunges - 10 reps each side
The Superman on Bosu - 10 reps each side
Bird Dogs with Crunch - 20 reps each side
Cage Stretch
Reverse Curl with Stick - 15 reps
Bridges with Kickout - 5 reps
Planks - 2 reps for 20 sec
Side Planks - 2 reps each side for 20 sec

So...  Um, Yeah.  I'm making progress.  I'm kind of proud of this list.  This was a 45 minute workout.  I had sweat soaking my clothes.  It felt pretty darn good.  *grin*

This is my only PT appointment this week.  With the holiday next week, I don't have another PT appointment until June.  I reminded myself of that a few times when I was feeling done.  I'm really hoping I can continue this trend and not get hurt.  I'm not sure if I'm more worried about getting hurt or regressing.  Both are scary fears and they compete with each other.  If I push too hard I could get hurt again.  If I don't push I'll eventually regress.  Or stagnate in the best case.  I want to keep progressing so I'm going to have to keep striving.  Fears be damned!

This week's goal is to work through some of this.  Not the deep emotion sludge.  Just the act of getting up each day and continuing with my plan.  By Friday last week I was feeling very overwhelmed and exhausted.  I don't want to end this week that way.  I'm thinking that exhausted feeling is a good reason to have a hold steady week.  Why heap on more?

So I'm monitoring my calories.  I'm keeping my work out schedule (MWF at the gym; M at PT; maybe W Yoga).  I'm making it to bed at a reasonable hour (turned out 7:45pm was a reasonable hour last night - who knew?).  I'm going to make this week work for me.

Workout 120521: To Summarize

Monday morning workout:

30 min Arc Trainer (Interval level 3)
5 min Treadmill cooldown
Stretch

There's a lot going on and this weekend I really wanted nothing to do with my computer.  I unplugged at 5:30pm and didn't return until Monday.  It was good.  And busy.  But that is life, right?

There are a few things I've been wanting to write about, but haven't had the time or focus or something to sit down and knock out the story.  So in the interest of not forgetting them I'm going to summarize.

I can do squats!  I might mentioned it earlier, but it is pretty awesome.  So I'll say it again.  I can do squats!!!  Right now it is just me and a spotter (or bench to catch me if I fall down), no additional weights.  But did I tell you?  I can do squats!

As such, PT is finishing up.  I am down to one appointment per week until the end of June.  I'm absolutely terrified about this.  I should be delving into those feelings and figuring it out, but I'm just scared.  I takes a lot of energy to power through this fear and will require even more to deal with and dispel it.  I will have to do that.  I'm not ready.

Last week my knees started hurting again.  My therapist says that it is a flare up and I'll work through it.  She put some magic pink tape on my legs and one of my knees felt better.  Maybe all my fear is manifesting itself as leg pain.  Either way the bright pink tape helped and I felt a bit better.  Until I started itching.  Apparently I'm allergic to the adhesive they use on the tape.  Hopefully it worked enough magic to last for a bit because I still have hives from where it was stuck to my skin.  Grr.

To help with the transition from PT monitored strength work to going it alone, I've enlisted a personal trainer.  My husband purchased me 3 personal training sessions for Christmas to get assistance with training for running a 5K.  When that didn't pan out an I ended up in PT, I wasn't sure when I would use them or how.  Five full months later I am so thankful that I have these visits.  I meet with my trainer for the first time on Wednesday.  She runs a boot camp on Tuesday and Friday.  I don't know that I'll be up for that, but she'll probably be the best person to tell me.  We'll see.

Wish me luck.  Hopefully I'll have time to week to elaborate a little on all my neuroses; but, if not, be assured I'm just building up for killer stories later on.  *sigh*

PT: Day 25

Monday's work over:

6 min Elliptical - Level 4
Monster Walk with Band (black)
Side Steps with Band (moved up to the black band for side steps - ow!)
Assisted Squats - 10 reps (12 pounds of assistance)
Bosu Planks - 3 reps for 15 sec
Slightly-Less-Modified (SLM) Side Planks - 2 reps each side for 15 sec
The Superman - 20 reps each side
Cage Stretch

This all looks a new and interesting, right?  It's been two full weeks since I wrote up one of my PT sessions.  Long overdue!  The sessions have been challenging, but I'm making progress quickly.  I guess that is why my therapist feels the need to continue challenging me.  *sigh*

Recent additions to the routine include:

Monster Walk with Band - the band goes around my ankles like it does in the Side Steps.  Then I bend my knees and stomp down the track with my feet at least hip width apart and never straightening my legs.  It's hard, but fun.  Sometimes I growl.

The Superman - I made up the name for this one.  I stand facing a counter with one foot bent, toes resting on a Swiss Ball behind me.  Then I bent the knee supporting my weight and lower.  The leg on the ball stretches back, rolling the ball with it.  I put my weight in my heel to stand back up again.  This is possibly my favorite exercise.  It is tough but the stretch in my hips feels fantastic.

Easily the hardest thing I'm doing is the Assisted Squats.  I started out doing them with 40 pounds of assistance and am down to 12 pounds.  The hardest part for me is releasing my tail bone so I can hold proper form while still being able to get back up.  My understanding is that my gluts are still too weak to perform squats properly.  That will be my graduation test.  Do a set of squats in proper form without assistance.  Then I can be on my own.

You caught that, right?  I'm 12 pounds of assistance away from being released from physical therapy.  Wow.

PT: Day 20

Wednesday's PT overhaul:

6 min Elliptical - Level 4
Reevaluation
Hip Warm-up Stretch
Reverse Curl with Stick - 20 reps
Cage stretch
Assisted Squats - 5 reps (40 pounds of assistance)
Modified Side Planks - 3 reps each side for 30 sec
Modified Planks - 2 reps for 30 sec
Side Lunges on Bosu - 10 each side

First thing...  I haven't been blogging all my PT visits.  I know.  Hopefully I'm nearing the end of PT, but in the meantime my progress feels frustrating and slow.  20 visits to PT and everyone knows my name.  They know my kids' names.  I know where they live.  And when they're having a bad day.  Not just my therapist, but a couple of the others as well.  I'm nearing the end of my 4th month of PT.  A lot has changed for me physically and emotionally.  And I'm worried about PT becoming a crutch.  I can't stay there forever.  Eventually I have to work through this and move on.  It's a lot of baggage.

Now for the actual workout... The Assisted Squat was something I'd been introduced to in the past, but wasn't deemed ready for.  My tendency when doing squats it to compensate by leaning forward too much.  It simply isn't the right way to do a squat.  My weak gluts are causing the bad form so this exercise adds weight to help them out.  The weight is attached to two pulleys which I hold onto with my arms.  Then I lower into the squat.  I'm unsteady enough that the therapist stands behind me to make sure I don't fall backwards.

Wednesday I was reevaluated.  I'm doing well, but my coccyx is still sore most days and my knees have begun to feel tender again.  There is a balance somewhere in all this I have not attained yet.  For the coccyx I continue working and we hope.  For the knees, I'm to reduce the treadmill incline to 0 for the next few weeks.  First to see if it helps, second to give my gluts a break.  Adding the incline makes them work harder and the suspicion is that they are just giving up.

PT: Day 18

Thursday's PT regimen:

6 min Elliptical level 4
Swiss Ball Squats - 14 reps with 5 sec hold
Bird Dogs with Stick - 20 reps each side
Reverse Curl with Stick (was: Leg Lifts with Arms Raised) - 15 reps
Side Steps with Band
Assisted Crunches on Swiss Ball - 2 sets 10 repsModified Planks - 3 reps with 30 sec hold
Modified Side Planks - 3 reps each side with 20 sec hold
Cage Stretch

Thursday I got a massage.  I want to say it was awesome, but I can't really say it was awesome when every motion my therapist made burned with the heat of a thousand suns!  OW!  Ow! OW!  It was awesome.

Apparently my collection of butt muscles is a mess.  They are all weak and tense and not doing what they should be doing.  Due to the mess, they are sore.  Not just walking around achy sore, but "please don't touch me or I'm going to punch you in the face" sore.  Did the PT cause this?  No.  Was I functioning prior to the PT? Yes.  Was this pain there the whole time?  Yes.  Why am I only dealing with this now?  Ugh.

I've hurt for so long.  Not a hurt so intense that I need pain killers or can't function on a day-to-day basis.  I just hurt.  Through trial and error and tears, I've learned what motions hurt and what parts of my body are overly sensitive.  I avoid the painful motions and protect the sensitive spots.  It doesn't make it go away, but I've dealt with it, managed it.  And I've avoided thinking about it.

Thinking or talking about this kind of pain is hard.  It is a constant in my life and makes me feel vulnerable and weak.  These are feelings that I can't afford on a daily basis.  Or I believed I couldn't afford.  If someone caught a glimpse of it, I would quickly derail the conversation while quashing the tears that came to my eyes.  The mere suggestion that I address this pain with another human being was utterly overwhelming.  So I accepted it.  I accepted that this was just the way my body was and I moved on.  This was my normal.

I'm defining a new normal these days.

Workout 120404: Progress

Today's workout:

Hip Warmup Stretch
30 min Elliptical (interval setting)
5 min Treadmill cooldown
Hip Abductors (10 reps 3 sets each leg)
Bridges (15 reps with 5 sec hold)
Stretch

Today felt good.  I was able to complete 30 minutes on the same Elliptical machine that had me crying for mercy a few weeks ago.  Woohoo!!!  I'm thrilled to be making progress.  I still have to focus on my motion when I'm on the Elliptical but I didn't have any pain.  I'm really starting to think we might be figuring all this out in my physical therapy sessions.  Such a relief!

Supporting my good feeling this morning, I actually got everything on my nightly must do list done last night.  A few months ago I spent 4 weeks following FlyLady's recommendations pretty closely.  I can't say that I completed a step everyday.  And I definitely didn't make it to the end of the list.  But after a month, I started to understand that I really did need to prep for the next day each evening.  Without that prep, my days fall apart so quickly.  Maybe that is part of running a house, or being a full-time working mom, or just being a human being.  I have no idea.  But the past couple of nights I've really pushed to get all the tasks done on my list including being in bed at 9:30pm.  Last night I succeeded and it makes such a difference in starting the next day.

I'm reaching the gushing point so I'm going to stop.  I'm happy right now.  I might make a new happy tag to link all my posts where I just love life.  I definitely need to remember this feeling on the days when I feel crushed.  It's pretty awesome!

PT: Day 17

Monday's PT Regimen:

6 min Elliptical level 4
Prone Press Ups Right Side - 2 sets 10 reps
Swiss Ball Squats - 10 reps with 5 sec hold

The Swiss Ball Squats involved me doing a squat with my back against a swiss ball against a wall.  I lower down until my thighs are parallel to the floor using the ball for support to allow my back to curve properly.  I hold the squat for 5 seconds and then raise back up.

Bird Dogs with Stick (this is the name the therapist used for the Arm/Leg Back Extensions) - 20 reps each side
Side Steps with Band
Modified Planks - 3 reps with 30 sec hold
Modified Side Planks - 3 reps each side with 20 sec hold
Assisted Crunches on Swiss Ball - 2 sets 10 reps

For this exercise, I lean back into a reclined position on a swiss ball while holding a weighted pullie in front of me with both hands.  I tense my abdominal muscles and then slowly allow the weight to pull me up to sitting.  The therapist tells me how far up constitutes sitting by feeling for the point where my abs "pop out".  This has been translated to me as the point there they can't stay tensed any more under the activity I'm doing.  Strange enough, I do need her to tell me this; I can't yet feel when that happens.

Cage Stretch

I felt pretty tired after yesterday's PT, but it was a good tired.  My abdominal muscles let me know that they were still there and I slept like a rock.  It's good to know that I can continue working out these non-responsive muscles.  The new exercises are harder and I'm beginning to really be able to focus on the correct muscles in the ones I've been doing over and over.  Whew!  Yeah for progress!

PT: Day 16

I went.  I worked.  I cried.

Grr.

Sorry for the lack of details, but I'm finding is particularly hard to write up frustrating PT days.  Thursday was one of those.  We attempted a new exercise where I held a kettle ball and did a squat.  Then as I rose up I lift the kettle ball (bell?) to shoulder height.  Rinse.  Repeat.

I couldn't do it.   Not only that but I couldn't do a regular squat.  Then I couldn't do a squat with my back supported.  THEN I couldn't do a weight assisted squat.

Now when I say I couldn't do it.  I mean that I couldn't do it with proper form and no pain in my left knee. And that is monumentally frustrating.  I thought I was doing squats correctly!  I am very frustrated to be further back than I thought I was.

On the flip side, I still have time.  I am in the right place to relearn all this stuff and to relearn it correctly.  So, in response, I did the most mature thing I could think to do under the circumstances.  I scheduled another month of PT.  Then I went to my car and had a good cry.

PT: Day 15

Monday's Exercises:

6 min Elliptical warmup - level 4
Cage stretch
Prone Press Ups Right Side - 10 reps 2 sets
Swiss ball bridges - 20 reps with 5 sec hold
Leg Lifts with Arms Raised - 10 reps
Side Lunges on Bosu - 20 reps

With my left knee still acting up on this exercise, the therapist modified it today to put the foot I was lunging onto (putting my weight onto) on the Bosu.  The pain went away.  This definitely is a weakness issue, but I think I'm starting to understand it.

Sidesteps
Kneeling Leg/Arm Extension - 20 reps each side
Modified Side Planks - 10 reps with pause 2 sets
Modified Planks - 3 reps with 30 sec hold

I'm getting there.  Every day a little further.  There isn't much to report.  My spirits are still up and I'm happy to be making progress.  I have more work to do on my non-PT days.  The Prone Press Ups were added to my at home rotation and I've not been good about getting them done yet.  The theory behind the coccyx pain now is that my sacrum on the right is locked up and not moving properly (I didn't even know that was a part that could move).  The Press Ups are needed to open it up and get the movement back.  I can feel tightness there when I stretch, but honestly I'm still trying to figure this one out.  In the meantime I need to be better about doing my prescribed exercises!

Workout 120326: Tight on Time

Today's workout:

Hip Warmup Stretch
25 min Treadmill (3.0 mph hill setting)
Stretch

These days I have two alarm clocks set.  One is a standard alarm clock which I have set to play some random radio station at 4:50am.  The second is my cell phone.  It is set to yell at me at 5:15am if I am not yet out of the house.  I take the yelling as congratulations if I am already in the car when it goes off.  That was not how I took it this morning.  This morning I woke up to my cell phone.  *sigh*

But I got up and got to the gym and got in a slightly abbreviated workout!  This afternoon is physical therapy and I feel pretty good going into this week.  I'm hoping to see continued improvement.  If nothing else, my attitude is good.  Maybe that translated to physical health...  Let's hope.

PT: Day 14

Thursday's PT Regimen:

6 min Elliptical Warmup - level 3
Prone Press Ups Right Side - 10 reps 2 sets
Leg Lifts with Arms Raised - 10 reps
Modified Side Planks - 10 reps with pauce (can't hold for 5 sec yet) 2 sets
Swiss ball bridges - 20 reps with 5 sec hold
Kneeling Leg/Arm Extension - 20 reps each side
Modified Planks - 3 reps with 30 sec hold
Side Lunges - 20 reps
Sidesteps
Cage Stretch

The Side Lunges that gave me trouble in my 2 week break also gave me trouble in PT on Thursday.  It kind of sucked.  The therapist sat in front of me while I did the lunges and held my knee cap in place.  At first I thought I could make the pain stop by correcting my form, but that didn't seem to be enough though it helped.  We're going to keep on working on those.

Besides that I did 5 more Swiss Ball Bridges than I've ever done before.  I was very pleased about that.  Also I was able to do the full length of Sidesteps without switching sides.  No muscle spasms!  That is a pretty awesome feeling.  I'm taking this to mean I'm a little closer every week.  :)

PT: Day 13

Monday's PT Regimine:

6 min Elliptical Warmup - level 3
Prone Press Ups Right Side - 10 reps 2 sets

New Exercise - Laying on my stomach with my left leg hanging off the table, I press up into a cobra pose.  Lower back down and repeats.  This is to get flexibility back in my right hip hopefully alleviating some of the coccyx pain.  My right sacrum is not as flexible as my left (I may have that statement completely confused as I don't really know what it means).

Leg Lifts with Arms Raised - 10 reps

New Exercise #2 - Laying on my back hold my arms up with a bar in my hands.  Left both legs and attempt to get them under the stick without moving my arms/shoulders.  Lower legs and repeat.  Wow.  This was seriously hard and I am seriously not flexible in this way.  I was able to do the lifts, but there was no way I could get my feet any where near the bar in my hands.

Modified Side Planks - 10 reps 2 sets
Swiss ball bridges - 15 reps with 5 sec hold
Kneeling Leg/Arm Extension - 20 reps each side
Modified Planks - 3 reps with 30 sec hold
Side Lunges - 10 reps
Sidesteps
Cage Stretch


I didn't write about Day 12.  It was on March 1st.  It was a very hard, very upsetting, very frustrating day.  I'm letting it go.

Since I was out of PT for 2 weeks, I was re-evaluated upon my return.  The results?  My hips are improving as are my gluts.  Each leg can now resist pressure applied when I perform a Side Lying Hip abduction and some presses down on the lifted leg. I can also resist some pressure when lying on my stomach and lifting my leg up using my gluts.  That is super awesome news!!!!  And I haven't been having a bunch of knee pain so I'm thinking the original problem might be understood.

On the flip side, the coccyx pain grew worse as the two weeks wore one.  For that my physical therapist did and evaluation of sorts on my hip/back alignment.  From what I could tell they were measuring symmetry and watching how I moved each part.  The movements I performed seemed intent on moving every portion of my lower backs and hips separately.  I don't think I could repeat those movements without help.  The result most notably is the two added exercises above.

But there was an even more hopeful conversation.  Based on the progress the therapist is seeing, it may not be necessary for me to continue beyond the next month.  We talked about continuing as we're going now and re-evaluating again in 2 weeks.  I also have to try to stop sitting on my feet when I'm sitting at my desk.  I'm going to try really hard, but sitting with my feet folded up under me is so much more comfortable!  However, if breaking that habit means the pain will cease...  Really?  Is there any more thought needed on that one?

Workout 120319: Started Right

Today's Workout:

30 min Arc Trainer (level 3 - interval setting)
Hip Abductors (2 sets 10 reps each leg)
Bridges (10 reps with 5 sec hold)
Hip & Glut Stretches

My workout today felt great!  I'm not sure it is is because my attitude or because I woke up on time leading to a leisurely workout.  Maybe it was the time I spent outside this weekend.  Whatever it was?  I love it and I felt good before during and after my workout today.  WOOHOO!!!

This afternoon is my first PT session after 2 weeks without.  I'm definitely not looking forward to it, but I'm glad that I'm not running away because it is too hard.  I still have such a long way to go before I'll be happy with where I am physically.  One more step on that road!

Workout 120314: Question Answered

Today's workout:

Hip Warmup Stretch
20 min Elliptical (level 2 - Hill Interval)
Side Lunges - 10 reps each side
Hip Abduction - 10 reps 2 set each leg
Modified Side Planks - 3 reps each side with 5 sec hold
Modified Planks - 3 reps with 20 sec hold
Stretch

The question posed yesterday about not returning to physical therapy... It was answered today.  I will be going back next week.  This morning's side lunges were greeted by pain in my left knee.  I was able to modify enough to make the pain go away, but something is still not right there.  Then I went to do the Modified Side Planks and my elbow wouldn't support my weight without pain; enough so that I called it quits after 3 of them.

How did I get like this?

All I keep thinking is sedentary job, sedentary hobbies, sedentary life.  I have struggled with my weight for years...  decades now... but I wasn't in pain.  I went hiking with friends.  My jobs involved being on my feet for hours in service positions or contorting myself in to inconvenient spaces in computer rooms.  My weight wasn't getting in my way.  That's why I never fixed it.

Even today it really isn't getting in my way technically.  It's a symptom of the lifestyle I have, just like the pain in my knees.  But for the first time, I am beginning to see it as an aggravating factor.  Maybe I am not getting better as quickly because I have so much extra to whip into shape.  Maybe the added impact just makes everything that much harder.

So I'm working on it.  I'm proud of the progress I'm making.  I'm also proud of the time I've kept at it.  But I still have so far to go.  It's hard to see that I'll ever reach my goals.  Going back to PT?  One more step towards making this right.