Going the Distance

Last week I started a new walking program.  At least, it is new to me.  I did a little reading and decided to walk Jeff Galloway's 5K training plan.  I looked at his and Hal Higdon's and decided that I like the simplicity of Galloway's.  Neither is overly hard considering it is all walking and the times just get changed up.  However, I plan to workout 3 days a week on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday.  I can following the Galloway 5K training plan by simply shifting the whole schedule forward one day.  I would need to add a 4th day to follow the Higdon 5K walking plan and I'm just not ready to commit to a 4th day in the gym yet.

Having already walked three 5K's this year, I've been resisting backing up and trying one of these programs.  The first 5K was completed through force of will.  I was only a few weeks into PT and really should have backed out of the race I'd planned on running.  Completing that walk was painful and exhausting.  And cold!!!  It had snowed that morning.

The second was the MS 5K Walk 2 months later.  That 5K was a slow walk with friends.  We talked and walked and stopped and dawdled.  It was a day I will never forget.  I know I've not written about it here.  Some day I might, but there is one moment from that walk that I will share now.  Hitting the last quarter of a mile my hip started to cramp.  I was wet and cold and ready to be finished.  Rain had pelted us the entire walk.  The approach to the finish line was, of all things, uphill.  As I approached the finish line, I saw my oldest daughter waiting.  She was wearing her Hawaiian rain jacket and matching boots cheering me on.  Even better than that moment are the many moments since then when she's told me that she is going to do a 5K when she grows up and she wants to run it in the rain too.

And most recently I walked a 5K on the treadmill in the gym just to see how I felt.  As with the first two my hips started to cramp in the third mile.  I worked through it and it wasn't nearly as bad as during the first 5K, but still...  I'm not pleased.  I feel like all my time in PT and hard work are simply not paying off.  How long is it going to take?  How many leg lifts in various directions are required to get these muscles in working order?

While my two official 5Ks left me needing a week to recover, each had moments I won't forget.  I begin to understand why people race over and over.  Why they keep moving.  I can see that getting out there and moving will make a difference.  However, my last unofficial attempt left me frustrated and knowing I shouldn't sign up to make a third official.  Exercise is supposed to be about moving and nourishing a healthy body.  My body is getting healthier, but it is not ready to walk 5K.  I'm not sure why this distance means so much to me.  Maybe because running it will always be the first goal I made for myself.

Versus trying again and again with the same painful results, I'm doing a walking program.  A slow progression to walking a 5K.  It's 15 weeks, 3 days per week.  At week 11 I actually walk 3.5 miles.  Which is more than a 5K.  As I approached Couch to 5K, I'm going to keep repeating each week until I can complete the walk without pain.  Maybe this is the answer I need for getting past this hurdle.  At a minimum, I now have a program to follow, a specific online to progress along.  That is something I've wanted and needed lately.  Best case, I might actually whip these stubborn muscles into shape.

For now, I'm mostly working on being thankful to have yet another chance.  And more time to practice patience.  Practice makes perfect right?

Lizard Toes

I'm new to the smart phone world.  At the same conference where I decided to change my life, I also determined that I needed to get a smart phone.  I'm deep like that.  You see this was a conference of seemingly together professional women who also happened to be mothers.  And the single common accessory was an iPhone.  Not just a smart phone or general techie tendencies.  Nope.  Everyone BUT ME had an iPhone.  I made it exactly 34 days past the conference before I ordered one of my very own.

It probably helps that I love Macs.  Apple has a company has its issues (Huge cop out, but I'm not sure there is any company that doesn't), but the make a fine product and I have drank the Kool-aid.  So into the smart phone work I dove.  My first 6 months were bliss.  I could do things I never knew I needed to do all from the phone in my pocket.  We had so much fun together.  Playing games, taking pictures, editing pictures, shopping for real estate.  List list is endless.  It was love.

All this is relevant because I got a pedicure!!!  See the pretty lizard toes?  They are mine and I love them.  I love them so much that I wanted to post a picture here for you to see.  The light shining off the pretty teal polish.  It makes me so happy.  I almost had to go out a buy a pair of sandals so that I could show off these beauties to the world.  However, you, my loyal readers, are the only people outside me immediately family to observe the results of an hour of pure unadulterated pampering of me.  Something I needed so much.  I'm so thankful I took the time.

And it has taken me 3 apps and 65 minutes spread over two days to provide you with this picture.  *sigh*  I'm not sure how other people do this, but I've got to be doing something wrong.  Here's my steps to get this picture here:

• I took the picture
• Edited it in Instagram (not registered with FB)
• Emailed myself a link and uploaded it somewhere (does anyone know HOW instagram works?)
• Found a copy on my phone
• Downloaded the Blogger app and failed to comprehend how to add a photo to a Blogger post via the app
• Tried linking to the photo via the URL Instagram gave me
• Got instructions for using Google+
• Downloaded the Google+ app and learned that all the pictures I've been posting for both my blogs are publicly accessible and linked to me via Google+ (so much for this being a secret)
• Refused to enable Instant Upload of all my pictures from my phone to Google+
• Shared this single photo will all my Google+ followers
• Found that I could then see it from Blogger via Picassa (???)
• I clicked the button to include it in this post

Wow.  I'm definitely doing something wrong.  Or...  Or!  This smart phone thing has us all convinced that it takes an advanced degree to do anything.  But wait!  I HAVE an advanced degree.  In Computer Science.  Why is this so hard!?!??!?

Anyway, figuring all this picture stuff out was fun.  The honeymoon is over with regards to my iPhone.  I love it.  I'm going to keep playing with it.  But this has to be easier.  I'm also not sold on having all my data being shared in one place.  I know that is the trendy thing to do, but I'm not that trendy and all these companies linking back to Google makes me a little nervous with the overall picture you can get all to easily of me on the internet.

All that aside, I loved getting a pedicure.  I don't know that I will get them regularly, but I'm going to enjoy my lizard toes as long as possible.  The massage portion of the pedicure was also an awesome treat.  I've been beating up my legs lately and it felt nice to relax and have someone take care of me for a few minutes.  Maybe I need to work on allowing some pampering simply because it makes me feel nice.  No mountain climbed necessary.

Workout 120727: Inner Calm.

Last night my world exploded.  To be more accurate, the drainage pipe in my basement exploded.  Versus having a nice calm problem like the tub not draining, something has broken and the tub drained into the finished basement.  Presently the upstairs bathroom, laundry room and kitchen are off limits to all those who wish to use water in my house.  Thankfully (???), there is a second bathroom in the basement which appears to be on the other side of the drainage issue.

Given all that, I woke up this morning and determined that my optional Friday visit to the gym was not optional.  If I wanted a shower before I was due to be at work, I would have to find it elsewhere.  So I headed out the door.  My husband, the awesome and amazing man that he is, is at the house with the kids monitoring the situation and waiting for the plumber.  Even when I started working again after being unemployed for 9 months, I'm not sure I was ever this happy to have a work to go to.

Getting in a bonus workout is awesome.  However since I wasn't planning on being at the gym this morning, I pretty much stuck to the cardio machines and sweated out for a bit.  Today's workout:

30 min Elliptical - Cross Training 2
10 min Treadmill - 2.0 mph
Stretch

This workout felt good.  My feet are a little tender, but that is more due to the new inserts I purchased to add arch support than the length of time on the Elliptical.  About 20 minutes into the program the machine told me to pedal backwards which I did.  It is much harder to pedal backwards than forwards for me still.  At that moment I did marvel at the progress I've made.  I remember in the beginning weeks how I was struggling to make it through my workouts.  Just completing them was an accomplishment.  I remember being proud every time I added a few more minutes.  It was a wonderful journey down memory lane in the middle life happening and shattering my calm happy place.

I'm happy this week is almost over.  I'm happy that I don't have to cook dinner tonight.  I'm exceptionally happy to have the time and resources to go workout while my house is falling apart.  Now if I can just hold on to that happy long enough to be able to use the running water at my house again.  That will be something to celebrate!

Just Keep Swimming

Yesterday I felt like Dori.  I was all over the place.  No focus on the moment.   And not able to deal in the past or future very well.  Over the last week, I've left my PT clothes sitting on my dresser, my wallet in the girls diaper bag and my keys in the front door.  I'll never claim to be the most put together person, but this is ridiculous.

And I all I could tell myself was to keep on keepin' on.

With each iteration of crazy, I get a good thing out of it.  I become better at detecting, monitoring and redirecting the crazy.  With the lack of focus I was experiencing yesterday afternoon, I took off an hour early from work, went home and sorted the mail.  That's right.  Of all the things I could do with an hour, I chose to sort mail.

I poured a nice cup of ice water.  All my mail just barely fit in the wall basket in my kitchen.  I carried it to the family room and spread all the mail out on my sofa.  I popped Season 6 Smashed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer into the DVD player (my TV obsession of choice).  Pulling the recycle bins and shred bin over ensured that I did not have to get up for any reason.  And for the next 40 minutes I sorted mail in the quiet of my own home.  With no interruptions.

It was awesome.  When the mail was finished I had a few extra minutes on the episode so I sat and massaged my feet with a tennis ball.  Ahhh.  That was even better than getting through the mail!

And I got my zen back.  I'm by no means caught up but for the rest of the evening I wasn't a spaz-cadet.  I took my girls to Chick-fil-A for dinner and let them burn off 45 minutes of energy in the play place.  We did the whole bedtime ritual peacefully.  I got the laundry sorted and a load put in the washer.  I cleaned the mountain of greens our CSA provided this week.  I savored one chocolate chip cookie.  I watched one more episode of Buffy (Season 6 Wreaked) while doing a few PT exercises to warmup.  I stretched out my very sore legs and rolled my IT band.  I went to bed content.

I feel productive again.  Or maybe my limited control over my schedule has been reattained.  Whatever gives me this peaceful productive I-can-do-anything feeling is back.  And it is welcome to stay as long as it likes.

Food Judgement

Last night I sat down with my girls to eat dinner.  They split a can of whole wheat ABC & 123's with Meatballs while I had leftover chicken and mashed potatoes.  There were no vegetables.  Well, unless you count the sauce on the ABC's...  The can says there is a full serving in there somewhere.  That counts, right?

*sigh*

Oh well.  We only eat like that two or three times a month.  If my husband had been coming home for dinner I'd have at least chopped up and sauteed the Swiss Chard in the vegetable draw.  But who was I impressing?  My 3 year old was extra thrilled that I let her pick her dinner from the pantry all by herself.  It was adorable.

But in my nutritional disaster that was dinner I had a triumph.  At the end of dinner, I sat down and recorded my calories totaling everything up for the day.  I was hoping I hadn't exceeded 1500 so that I could pull a chocolate chip cookie or two out of the freezer.  I was at 1581.  And I was full.

So I stopped eating.

I was satisfied.

And no craving came haunting in the night.  No obsessive thoughts about food.  No pepperoni drive-bys.  I was quite simply just done.

And it was a superb feeling.

I have food issues.  Given that I try to focus on the positives of working out and calorie counting, you might have missed the food issues.  But they are here.  They are big.  All too often they dominate my thoughts and I do all these other activities to counter them.  I work hard to find coping mechanisms.  And when I'm not coping?  I create avoidance tactics and diversions.  I tell myself stories about the future and remind myself of why I'm doing all this.  I fold clothes, vacuum or knit.  I brush my teeth.

Last night I didn't need to.  I coped.  I coped without trying.  This has been happening more and more lately.  It is a great feeling.  I am able to control my calories like never before.

Calories aren't loaded with emotion the way food is.  Each calorie is just a unit of energy.  I need a certain number of them and, when I have enough, I can be done.  Points didn't translate that way.  The formula used to determine them passed judgement on food.  It was about more than just input and output.  I didn't deal well with that.  So far I'm counting calories without the negativity or obsession I've experienced in the past.

Someday I hope to move beyond the simple calorie counting further into a wholesome nutrition-filled diet, but for now this is good.  I don't need to rush and I still have lots to learn without muddying the waters.  It feels so good to have something objective to cling to during this process.  Something serving my purposes so well.  I'm kind of embarrassed that I never thought to try it before.  But instead, I'll be thankful.  Thankful for a judgement-free way to deal with one aspect of all this.  Thankful this is working.  Thankful for the time to find it.