Workout 120723: Mom Anxiety

This Saturday marked a new routine for me and my oldest.  Bean and I had breakfast at home, got dressed for the gym and got there in time for the 2-3 year old class.  Just like last week, her class got combined with the later 4-5 year old class.  She still loved it.  While she was being entertained, I decided to try a day of cardio:

15 min Treadmill - Hill Setting level 4
20 min Arc Trainer - Interval Setting level 3
5 min Teadmill Cooldown
Stretch

It was wonderful.  I really like starting my Saturday out this way.  Afterwards I showered and Bean and I headed to the grocery store.  This is turning into a solid Saturday morning routine for me.  The only hard part is getting home at 12:30pm with a starving kid.  This coming Saturday we are going to make a serious attempt to be at the gym earlier.  Bean's class isn't what is keeping us at the gym so long; it's me and my need for a shower after working out.  And I'm not about to give up that luxury.

There was only one part of the Saturday excursion that really got under my skin.  As I was getting lathered up in the shower, I head a kid start crying.  It was a young child.  It was either hurt or scared.  Very obviously distressed.  When I'm working out at 5:30am, there are no kids in the gym.  Saturday morning is a very different time.  There are lots of kids.  One of them was mine.

As I stood in the shower, I caught myself listening intently for the cry.  I started hurrying to get done with my shower.  What if that cry was my girl?  What if she'd fallen on the stairs?  What if she was scared by someone?  The child continued to cry and I continued to get more and more worked up.  I started counting the minimal number of steps it would take me to get ready enough to leave the locker room and go find her.  I debated walking out into the gym before I was even dressed.

I stopped myself.  I had to.  My child was left with qualified adults.  I noted where I would be in the building.  There are intercoms.  And someone would come into the locker room to find me if my child really needed me.  Not to mention, this didn't sound like my kid.  It was too young.  The cry was of someone newly verbal.  I could hear all this and still my heart raced and I wondered...  Is that my kid?

Eventually I did calm myself down.  And I finished my shower taking all the steps that I usually take getting ready for my day.  The child stopped crying and no one came to find me.  I walked upstairs and there was Bean, happily playing with all the other kids.  She proudly reported eating her whole snack and holding the purple part of the parachute.  All was well.  She was better than fine; she was happy.  I might have shortened my life by a few minutes with all the freaking out, but I'm earning those back these days.  It's a process, but it sure does make me wonder how I'm ever going to make it through the next 18 years.  *sigh*

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I'm taking part in Stop By Saturday's again over at Does this scale make me look fat?  The question this week: What is your exercise of choice?  For me it is strength training right now.  I love the cardio machine, but I can see how they get boring.  Try me in a couple more months and I may say the same about Lunges, but right now...  They are just so cool!  Maybe it is a side effect of not being able to do so many of these things no very long ago.

Low Point

Off schedule post...  I need to vent.

I've reached overload point.  Or overwhelmed capacity.  I don't know.  It all sums up to I am trying to do a lot and have stopped doing any of it.  The working out, you know about.  But other parts of my life are starting to suffer.  I was just looking at the nutrition data for Chick-fil-A because that's where we are getting dinner tonight.  I can't even consider cooking.  The thought of doing so makes me sweat.  And it is not even 2pm.  Then I have work, laundry, bills and ... oh yeah...  work.

I have to get to work.  But I also have to spend tonight doing some breathing and sorting out how I am going to get out from under the mountain of behind I have gotten myself into.  There is only one way and that is to tackle one thing at a time.  But which thing and when and the feeling of futility is starting to make me stall.  It feels like everyday I get a little further behind and there isn't an end in sight for any of it.  After all it is my life.  I'm not really looking for an end, you know...

This happens.  Life gets busy and things slip.  I've gotten off track and back on before, but I need to get on track soon before I derail more of my good practices staggering under the weight of catching up.  My husband says everything is fine and I just need to settle down.  It will all workout.  But I hate this feeling of crazy.  I just need everything to slow down.  Just for a minute.

Any suggestions when you find yourself behind?  What makes you feel like you can do it all again?

Hehee.  Mountain of Behind.  That's awesome.

Workout 120529: Focus

Tuesday's Cardio:

5 min Stationary Bike warmup
25 min Elliptical - Cross Trainer 2 setting
5 min Treadmill cool down
Stretch

Oh the stretching felt good today.  So good.  I'm in love with the Figure Four stretch (which I could be calling the completely wrong name).  It is awesome and feels so good.  Yesterday and today I repeated my hamstring stretch after I did the figure four and it made a huge difference.  I'll have to play around a little more with the order of my stretches and see what happens.

I've been thinking on a new goal or habit for this week and I'm kind of at a loss.  I'm feeling pretty good with the progress I'm making.  I don't know that I want to mix anything up.  Or add anything new in.  So...  I guess I'm not.  However, I am open to any suggestions.  Let me know in the comments.

Over the past couple of weeks I've been talking with my husband more and more about what I'm doing.  I've been complaining about how many calories are in something or how there is no data available for a lot of restaurants.  And did you know that alcohol doesn't have the nutritional data printed on the labels?  I find that to be unacceptable.

As you can see I have a lot to talk about.  I'm pretty into this right now.  I would call it a hobby but I feel that doesn't reflect well on my sticking to it.  Whatever I call it, a good portion of my energy each day is dedicating to figuring, tracking, calculating and planning my diet.  Given that I like to control things, all these numbers and ideas can make me a ratchet up the intensity to a point where those around me get annoyed.

So I asked my husband if I was being better this time around.  I don't want to be a lunatic after all.  His response?  "You are talking about it incessantly, but it's better than talking about the budget."

*sigh*

My husband is very supportive.  But I don't want to be a bore.  And I don't want to drive him crazy.  And I worry about what all this talk says to my girls.  But I'm also not sure there is a better way.  To accomplish this goal I have to be a little obsessive, right?  That focus is commendable?  And healthy?