Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Workout 120228: Attitude Adjustment.

Today workout:

Hip Warmup Stretches
28 min Treadmill (top speed 3.2 mph; total dist 1.3 mi)
Hip Abductors - 20 each leg with a 30 sec hold on the 10th lift
Bridges - 10 reps with a 5 sec hold
Butt Muscle Stretch
IT Band Stretch
Hamstring Stretch
Butterfly Stretch

This morning was about as close to perfect and I could hope for.  I woke up on time at 4:50am.  I packed lunches and made it out the door without any toddler interference.  Arriving at the gym by 5:30am, I walked on the treadmill until 6am.  At 6am I headed downstairs to do my PT exercises and stretch.  At 6:15am, I headed to the showers.  By 6:45am, I was in my car headed to work.  On time!!!  It really does make a difference getting up in the morning on time.  I just need to get better at it.

As I was walking this morning, I thought about my running goal.  I have really been down about not meeting that goal.  REALLY DOWN.  The demotivating kind of down that makes it hard to get out of bed and do anything.  Some might say depressed.  I want my body to be better and I want it to be better now.  But I can't have that.  It's something I have to accept and deal with.  NOW.

So as of today, I am through with that goal.  I completed a 5K.  I know I can do that.  I have independent verification proving that I can do that.  Goal met.  I made that goal while trying to find an intermediate step in my 100 pound journey.  Looking at 100 pounds as a goal is too much.  It's too long and too hard.  I need another goal.  A smaller goal which still gets me in the right direction.

I don't know what that is yet.  I'm going to workout 5 days this week, either in the gym or at PT.  When my brain is idle I'm going to think on what I'm doing and come up with something.  Some motivating goal to get me through the next 2 months or so.  I'm thankful I have this time.  I'm hopeful that I can get better and reach my longer term goals.  I love that I've got this challenge to overcome.  This is something I can do.

PT: Day 11

Yes. I'm skipping Day 10.  It was a bad day for me.  My attitude was bad and it took me a couple of days to recover from PT Day 10.  Summary of the day - I have 6 more weeks of physical therapy in front of me.

Workout on Day 11:

6min Elliptical Warmup on level 3
Hip Rollout and Butt Muscle Massage
Butt Muscle Stretch
Modified Side Plank - 15 Reps
Backward Lunges - 10 reps each leg
Side Lunges* - 10 reps each side
Side Steps - 75in each direction
Swiss Ball Bridges - 10 reps with 5 sec hold
Kneeling Leg/Arm Extension - 10 Reps each leg
Leg Extension - 20 reps each leg
Cage Stretch

*Side Lunges are done by placing the feet 2 - 3 feet apart with the heel of one foot level with the toe of the other foot.  Then lean onto the forward leg.  Hold for 5 secs.  Push back up through the foot of the bent leg.

The hardest part about all these exercises is figuring out what muscles I should be using.  I can perform all of them incorrectly.  The frustrating part is recognizing that I am doing something incorrectly and learning how to correct it.  Yesterday it was the Lunges.  Last week it was the Side Steps.  The week before, Leg Extension.  Which, by the way, are going to be called Leg Kickbacks from now on.  That is what the physical therapist is calling them, so I'm going to latch onto the terminology.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Why 100 Pounds

Ever since I posted my goal of losing 100 pounds, I've wanted to follow it with a post about why 100 pounds.  Or maybe what 100 pounds means to me.  They are to different questions and I have been able to decide which one deserves attention first.  I am prone to analysis paralysis and the area of weight loss is no exception. Tackling these questions, one at a time, will hopefully lead me down the road to a healthy, well-balanced, skinny me.  So now for the question.

Why 100 pounds?

The facts are that I am a 5 foot 5 inch woman in my thirties.  My healthy weight range is 120 - 150 pounds.  With a start weight of 240 pounds, losing 100 pounds is a reasonable and healthy goal.

It is also a shocking goal.  I need something shocking to get me moving.  I'd rather the reality of 100 pounds shock me into action than a heart attack or diabetes.  I have high cholesterol.  Heart Disease and Diabetes run in my family.  But my parents and grandparents worked active, physical jobs.  Their weight didn't begin to be an issue until they moved into more sedentary management positions.  My weight was first addressed as an issue in Middle School.

When I was 11 years old, I remember hearing that I had high cholesterol.  I wasn't an obese child.  My parents were healthy, but family history on both sides showed reason for concern.  We changed our diets, limiting eggs and beef, eating lots of fish, swapping out butter for vegetable oil and whole milk for 1%.  The dietary change was really irrelevant to me (I liked seafood and never had a taste for butter), but I became aware that I was different and possibly not quite right. That was the beginning of my weight issues.  There is no blame; I just recall that being the time period when I went from being a naive happy little kid to knowing about stuff that naive happy healthy little kids just don't know about.  And I began to struggle with my weight.

By the time I was 22, I was 100 pounds overweight.  I can't tell you when it happened.  I quite honestly only noticed it happening peripherally.  At this point, I graduated college, got my first job and felt I like I was an adult.  I have been approximately this size since then, my entire adult life.  How would my life have been different if I hadn't gained the weight?  I wasn't idly munching chips for 11 years.  I studied and loved and experienced and succeeded.  I  have succeeded at this weight.

Which brings me back around to the question.  Why 100 pounds?

I want to be healthy.  At 100 pounds above my ideal weight range, doctors look at my through an obese filter.  Many, but thankfully not all, of them can't or won't help me with problems unrelated to my weight because EVERYTHING is linked to my weight.  I spent 6 years in pain before finding the right combination of doctors to understand that the pain in my legs was treatable at my PRESENT size.  In the process of finding those doctors, gastric bypass was offered multiple times, arthritis was diagnosed without reason, and I was simply written off.  Regardless of all tests and symptoms, both of my pregnancies were considered high risk because of my weight.  I want to remove this one unhealthy characteristic of me.  Then the medical industry to be able to treat me based on my symptoms, not on my size.

The 100 is a bit of a magic number.  It is 3 digits which makes it much more impressive than 99.   Honestly, if I lose 99 pounds, will I be disappointed?  Hell no!  If I lose 100 will I just stop?  I hope not.  If I lose 100 pounds, I will be solidly within my weight range for my age.  I will have overcome the stigma of being 100 pounds overweight.  I will have proven to the world that I am not lazy.  I will have proven to myself that I can.  And for the first time I will just be an adult.  No weight-related adjectives needed.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

PT: Day 9

Monday's workout:

6min Elliptical Warmup on level 3
Side Steps - 75in each direction
Hip Rollout and Butt Muscle Massage
Butt Muscle Stretch
Swiss Ball Bridges - 15 reps with 5 sec hold
Modified Side Plank - 15 Reps
My shoulder has been getting upset by this exercise.  Next time I'm to make sure that my shoulder blades are pulled back while I'm performing it.
Bosu Squats - 20 reps with 5 sec hold
Leg Extension - 20 reps each leg
Cage Stretch
One Legged Squat and Place - 10 cones so 20 squats per leg 
Backward Lunges - 10 reps each leg
Step back into a lunge.  Then using only the front leg stand back up again.  This works the gluts.
Kneeling Leg/Arm Extension - 10 Reps each leg
The Kneeling Leg Extension was modified this week to extend the arm forward opposite the leg being extended.  It's HARD.  And I still have to keep the bar balanced on my back.

This week's workout was hard.  For the first time in a month my knee actually hurt.  And it is continuing to hurt today.  I'm a little concerned, but I know how to take care of a hurt knee and I'll do that until Wednesday when I get to go in and figure out more.

Additionally, my coccyx is still hurting.  It is strange in that I feel it all the time now.  I suspect that some of this is my own awareness.  Apparently the Butt Muscle Massage should be helping this.  I'm not really sure yet, but I'm happy to try.  At least it did feel better for the hour or two after my PT appointment.  I'm glad to get what relief I can.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Workout 120220: Repose

Following my 5K, I needed a break so I took one.  Today I returned to the gym with:

20 min Ellpitcal workout (weight loss program)
2 min Rowing Machine
30 sec Rest
1 min Rowing Machine
Hip Abduction (2 sets of 10 reps each leg with 15 sec hold on the 10th lift)
Bridges (15 reps with 5 sec hold; 15 sec hold on the 15th lift)
5 min stretch

When you are visibly physically unfit (read obese), there is a lot of urgency placed on changing you.  What you SHOULD be doing is often offered to you regardless of your opinion or goals or situation.  Doctors do it.  Friends and Family do it.  Co-workers do it.  Even the occasional stranger waiting in line behind you at the grocery store do it.  Television and magazines all offer up ways to make the change happen faster.  The dialog is very urgent and demanding.  It's exhausting.

I worried about taking a week off from my exercise routine.  I've read that it takes 6 weeks to build a habit and 1 week to tear it down.  I've been working on this workout routine for 5 months.  I've taken a 1 week break one other time, over Thanksgiving.  Without deciding my opinion on the damage a week off would do, I took one.

And it was TOTALLY worth it.

I needed a break from goals and disappointments and plans for completing the next thing.  I finished the 5K which was emotionally and physically draining and exhilarating.  Just writing the post about completing it had me crying all over again!  I even took a break from PT on Thursday.  Having new pain spring up a couple of weeks ago in the form of an inflamed coccyx (tailbone) really messed me up more than I thought.

It is frustrating to move 2 steps forward and 1 step back over and over.  Intellectually I know it is progress, but emotionally I want to see the change NOW.  I want to prove to everyone, including myself, that I CAN DO THIS!  I am serious.  I am not just making excuses!

So I took my week.  And today I returned to the gym.  Habit unbroken.  Whew!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

My First 5K

February 11th I completed my first 5k.  3.2 miles accomplished on a cold wet winter day.  To give you an idea how cold it was, here is a shot of me with my kids about 15 minutes before the race started.

I arrived at the park with over 500 other runners in 34 degree weather less than an hour after the precipitation stopped.  Thankfully the earth wasn't cold enough to let the snow stick to the trails.  All was clear and the race was on.  My husband and kids set themselves up on the sidelines to cheer me on.

As the start time approached I positioned myself at the back of the pack.  Each runner got a chip to track their exact start time and the moment they cross the finish time.  The chips turn out to be necessary as I wasn't able to cross the start line until 2 minutes after the starting bell.  I can only imagine what starting at the big marathons must be like.

Knowing that I was not going to jog I had already prepared myself for having the crowd thin out quickly.  I can't say I was prepared for HOW quickly it happened.  Within 5 minutes of crossing the starting line, I was the last person with about 10 or 15 people in sight in front of me.  At that point, I took stock of what I was attempting to do, said a prayer of thanks for yet another chance to get healthy, and promised myself that I would cross the finish line.

Starting out slow to warmup was my plan.  Being that it was almost freezing, no amount of warming up before the race seemed to help for long.  That worked for me and at that 5 minute mark I started to feel pretty good.  I was able to speed up a bit, pumping my arms and standing tall.  My pace held with the exception of my very very annoying shoe laces which had to be retied THREE times during the race.  Grr.

During mile 2, I had company for a bit.  The man was also participating in his first 5K.  He'd been training with the Annapolis Striders and shared a little of his motivation with me.  His mother at 67 years of age completed the her first marathon.  Can you imagine?  She definitely inspired her son and gave me hope as well.  And when the time came, he used that motivation to pick up his jog again.

By mile 3, my hip and knee on my right leg were hurting.  However I was striking the ground on that side I had irritated my leg and had to start modifying my stride.  All I could do was tell myself to keep moving and try to change up how I was walking to avoid hurting.  My physical therapist says that pain means you need to stop what you are doing.  After almost 3 miles of walking, I wasn't going to stop walking, but I could definitely adjust and see if I could make it easier.

Towards the end of mile 3, I could hear people cheering at the finish line, but I couldn't see anyone.  There was no longer anyone in my sight and I couldn't tell how close the finish line was.  I was alone.  And I started wondering if I was going to be able to finish.  My hip was throbbing and my heart was beating.  I was getting very tired.

And then this man jogged around the corner.  Up to this point I'd been passed by a lot of joggers who'd turned around and jogged home after completing this race.  This man jogged towards me, turned and jogged along side me.  He'd come back to find me to make sure that I finished.  At that moment, the tears started.  For the next 0.2 miles I wiped tears away and I tried to increase my pace.  Two more joggers came back and joined us.  I was not quitting.  I was going to finish.

And then I saw it.  I saw the finish line.  I saw my husband standing there.  My friend who'd jogged ahead of me came back to jog in with me.  There were complete strangers standing there cheering me in.  I felt supported and inspired and JOGGED the last 10 yards of the race.  I couldn't help it.  Tears streaming down my face I crossed the finish line 56 minutes 24.3 seconds after I started.  I finished the race!



PT: Day 8

Monday's PT Session:

6min Elliptical Warmup on level 3
Warmup Hip Stretches
Hip Rollout and Butt Muscle Massage
Side Steps - 60in each direction
Bosu Squats - 20 reps with 5 sec hold
One Legged Squat and Place - 10 cones now so 20 squats per leg
Leg Extension - 30 reps each leg
Cage Stretch

Though I haven't posted about it yet, I did finish my 5K.  I promise more about that later.

Following my 5K, my feet and knees were sore.  My right hip acted up during the 5K, but not afterwards.  My hamstrings were also sore.  So entering PT yesterday, I had a bit to talk about with my therapist.  Thankfully, it doesn't look like I hurt anything.  I just needed more assistance working out the knots in low under used muscles than I'd initially thought.

Something I haven't added in my PT workouts which does exist at some point is my Hip Rollout.  It's not an exercise I can do to myself as IT HURTS.  But not in the irreversible harm kind of way.  More in the this is for your own good kind of way.  It's good that I'm learning what that is.  Otherwise it would be very hard to tolerate the exercise each time I'm in PT.

To do the Hip Rollout, I lay on my side with a pillow between my knees (to protect my back).  The therapist takes a foam roller about 6 inches in diameter and 2 feet long and rolls it down the outside of my hip and leg.  She continues to add pressure using her own body weight until either it stops hurting or some amount of time has gone by.  Then I turn over and we repeat.  This exercise is supposed to help my IT band relax and alleveiate the pain in my knees.  It works!

Due to my extra sore state on Monday, she added what I can only call a Butt Muscle Massage.  Laying on my stomach, the therapist used her elbow to put pressure on various points around my butt cheek.  While she was applying the pressure, I bent the knee of the leg she was working on and moved it back and forth.  When the muscle would stop hurting below her elbow she'd move to a new spot.  This was done to both butt cheeks.  And it WORKED!!!!

Apparently part of the problem with my spasamy muscles is my inability to adequately stretch them out.  This is something I'm going to continue working on.  Of couse, I also have to get warmed up before I can stretch adequately again.  That I can do.